Friday, June 25, 2010

I am The Warrior

bang, bang I am the warrior

How did the Warrior Dash go down? It was exactly like this classic video by Scandal, only with more mud and less dancing, but only slightly less dancing.

 It was a little longer than a 5K. There was 12 more obstacles to conquer than you're typical 5K, unless you count heat as an obstacle.  So, 11 more obstacles to conquer than something like the Redlegs Run For Home 5K. There was a lot more mud than you're typical 5K. It was a hell of a lot more fun than any 5K I've ever run.

As we lined up at the starting line. Beth asked, "so are you sticking with the group?" Well, maybe...I can't make any promises. A few minutes later the race began with a burst of flames from over the start line. Shootin' at the walls of heartache bang, bang I am the warrior. It was on. Once the race is on all bets are off. I stayed with the group for about....well I didn't.

The race is a bit of a blur. Looking back at the course map doesn't really help. I could swear we hit the slithering swamp and the junkyard jam a lot earlier in the course. Here are my impressions of the race:

The fire goes off and we're running. I'm thinking I need to slow down. I need to slow down. It's so hot I'm gonna regret taking off fast. I turn to the runner next to me as I often do during a hot race and say, "It's so damn hot...milk was a bad choice." Then I run away while the runner is laughing or looking confused. Either way I win.

We hit some woods and blessed shade and....mud! The trail is slick as hell as we wind our way along the trails. I scamper across the planks. Don't fall..don't fall...don't fall...

Junkyard jam...I jump, I climb over old beat up cars.... a muddy slope into and dive into a huge watery mud pit. OMG it stinks...

Running, or more like jogging, as I'm soaked from head to toe and covered in mud. I can see out of one sunglasses lens. Water! Me: "how many glasses of water can I take?" volunteer: "as many as you need." I grab a couple and douse my sunglasses to see again., legs so, run....hay...climbing...cargo net...climbing...about a million little hills...legs so tired...



After being slightly singed it was back into the mud as we crawled under barbed wire (for real) and on to the finish!

I found out later that I came in with a very respectable time of  25:50. After the race it didn't really matter what the times were. To the victors go turkey legs and beer...and we were all winners.

More photos to come....

Friday, June 18, 2010

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I'll find out this Saturday as I head out with a group of friends and warrior wannabe's to Joliet, Illinois. What trials await us to determine if we are warriors? According to the battleground map we'll be facing such obstacles as the warrior wall, hell's hills, slithering swamp, satan's slope and so on.

Unfortunately this year I will be more of an unofficial warrior. I am running in place of somebody that is unable to attend and it was to late to get the registration changed into my name. I'm sure he has good reason to drop out, and quite frankly we aren't all cut out to be warriors. The community needs farmers too. Maybe he could compete in some sort of Facebook Farmville Challenge. Too harsh?

Unofficial warrior or not I am taking my task very seriously. I've removed my bed from the bedroom and have been sleeping in a pit of mud. I wake up every morning scale a cargo net into the kitchen and eat fire for breakfast. It's a good start.

Friday, June 04, 2010

The Fastest and Funniest LEGO Star Wars story ever told

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I posted this hilarious video (still makes me laugh) of Star Wars being retold by someone who has never seen it.

Now let's go back a long time ago in a LEGO galaxy far, far away....