Run It Out

I've spent so much time training for the marathons for the last 9 months that I forgot about the most important reason to run: myself. Maybe I didn't forget, but over the last week and a half I decided to take a break from running. I was so burned out. This is only the second time I've run since the marathon. That may not seem like a big deal, but when you go from running 4 to 5 times a week to running twice in 1o days my body and my mind tend to notice. I feel more rested and less painful but not quite as focused.

This morning I was reminded why I really enjoy running. I had a sleepless night last night which will happen from time to time especially when I have a lot on my mind. Surprisingly, it wasn't a terrible night but I just couldn't switch off my brain. At about 4:30 I decided it was too late to get any real sleep so I would try to run it out.

Before I hit the road I pulled some songs from some various running mixes. This wasn't training this is running for fun and sanity music always helps. A quick stretch and I was on the road running...fast. Physically I felt better than I have in a while. All the aches and pains of the marathon are a vague memory. Mentally I felt a little scattered at first, but as I settled in and evened out my breathing I started to focus.

Nothing else matters outside of this moment. I can feel myself start to sweat as I push my pace. I don't think. I just feel my legs as they pump out the rhythm and my feet pound the pavement. I listen to the music and it brings up the good feelings inside. Nothing else matters. Thoughts and stresses that were tangling me up start to unwind, but I don't concentrate on that. I breathe. I run. All those things that seemed so complicated and so pressing a short while ago seem to flutter out behind me like ribbons as they untangle themselves. They don't look all that difficult anymore. They make sense. I let them flutter out there in the wind and I run.

At the end of the run I walk along the driveway and tilt my head back to the sky. The dawn is just starting to lighten the sky to show the low hanging clouds. For the first time in 2 days I feel like I'm outside my brain. Endorphins are the best drug. Everything is a little more clear. Everything is a little less complicated. Life is too short to tie myself up inside my brain. That's why I run it out.